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Domestic violence: How to support victims in leaving abusive relationships with crowdfunding

Financial dependence and a lack of financial ressources keep people in abusive relationships. Here's how to start a fundraiser and support them in leaving. Guide with text template.

Daniela Antons GoodCrowd.org

Reading time: 10 min

Updated: 25.11.2025

25 November is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. A day that reminds us that domestic violence is not a private matter – it concerns us all. The latest figures from the Federal Criminal Police Office reveal a shocking reality: in 2024, 265,942 people in Germany were victims of domestic violence – a new record high. 70.4 per cent of those affected are women. 132 men killed their (ex-)partners.

Behind each of these figures is a person with a story, with people who love them. And many could still be alive if they had received the necessary support in time. Whether as a friend, sibling, colleague or neighbour: once the decision to separate has been made, you can help them find a way out of the abusive relationship. This article shows you how you can support victims of violence through a fundraising campaign and why financial resources are so crucial.

Note on inclusivity: Violence in relationships predominantly affects women (including trans* women), but non-binary and intersex people as well as men can also be affected. This article therefore uses gender-neutral terms, even though women are statistically the most frequently affected.

It's not just about physical violence

Non-physical forms of violence in particular are often overlooked or not taken seriously. Domestic or intimate partner violence has many faces (source: UN Women):

1. Financial violence
Financial or economic violence describes the abusive restriction of financial independence and financial rights. For example, by denying access to money or a bank account, or to gainful employment or school attendance. This also includes the abusive violation of maintenance obligations.

2. Psychological and emotional violence
This includes, for example: intimidation, blackmail, threats of violence, manipulation (e.g. gaslighting), the systematic undermining of self-esteem (e.g. through insults, blame and accusations), control, deliberate ignoring and disparagement, and prohibiting contact with children, friends or family.

3. Physical violence
Physical violence refers to violent acts that cause physical harm. This includes pushing, restraining, pulling hair, withholding medical care, forcing someone to consume alcohol or drugs, and even attempted murder and murder.

4. Sexualised violence
Sexualised violence is understood to be coercion into a sexual act to which the partner has not given consent.

The invisible shackles: why financial resources are crucial

Imagine you want to leave – but you don't have the money for the deposit on a new flat. You want to protect yourself – but the legal fees exceed your savings. You want to heal – but there are months-long waiting lists for therapy places with therapists covered by health insurance.

Financial dependence is one of the main reasons why people need an average of seven attempts at separation before they can finally free themselves from an abusive relationship. The costs of a new start are considerable:

Finding a flat: deposit, first month's rent, moving costs – this quickly adds up to £3,000-5,000.
Legal assistance: Divorce, protection orders and custody disputes often cost several thousand euros.
Psychotherapy: Private therapy sessions cost £80-120 per session if no appointments are available through the health insurance system.
A new start: New furniture, childcare while looking for a job, career reorientation.
Security: New locks, moving to another city, possibly a new mobile phone and a new number

The hidden hurdle: when a place in a women's shelter becomes a financial burden

One particularly insidious hurdle often goes unmentioned: one in four people have to pay for their stay in a women's shelter themselves – between £25 and £100 per day, plus any costs for their children. With an average stay of several weeks to three months, this can quickly add up to between €2,000 and €9,000.

Those most affected are:

Students and trainees
EU citizens without entitlement to social benefits
People with their own income (even if it is only slightly above the income threshold) or assets (even if it is in the partner's name)
People with uncertain residence status

Hope from 2032: The Violence Assistance Act passed in February 2025 creates a nationwide legal right to free protection for the first time. However, this will only apply from 2032. Until then, people will remain dependent on fundraising campaigns or their own resources.

When does a donation campaign make sense?

A crowdfunding campaign can be lifesaving in various situations:

Acute escape: When a person needs to leave immediately and has no savings
After the women's shelter: The transition to an independent life
Therapy costs: For specialised trauma therapy without long waiting times
Legal protection: When legal aid does not apply or takes too long
Career restart: Further training, childcare, bridging the gap until the first salary

Have you discussed it with the person concerned and would like to start a solidarity campaign? You can create it here:

Create campaign

How to start a solidarity campaign – step by step

Step 1: Discuss it with the person

No campaign may be launched without the consent of the person affected – also for safety reasons. Everyone has their own timeline – even if it is extremely difficult as a friend, relative or colleague to endure the fear for the person and the feelings of powerlessness.

Step 2: Safety always comes first

Before you start a campaign, be sure to clarify the following with the person concerned:

Are they in immediate danger? In case of immediate threat: contact the police (110) or a women's shelter
Can the campaign be anonymous? This is possible with GoodCrowd.org – no names, no locations, no recognisable details
Who should know about it? Plan together in which circles you will share the campaign.

Important: Talk to a counselling centre! The experts there are familiar with safety issues and can assess what is possible. The nationwide helpline (116 016) also advises relatives – around the clock, free of charge and anonymously.

Step 3: Tell the story sensitively

The campaign text is crucial. It should be moving without retraumatising. It should be specific without endangering the person affected. The focus should be on the future and a new beginning – not on details of the violence. Make the costs transparent and explain why the money is so urgently needed. Share your motivation for taking action.

Here's an example of what a campaign text could look like:

"Dear friends and supporters,
I'm Yuna and Sarah is a very close friend of mine. (I've changed her name for security reasons.) When she told me two weeks ago that she was breaking up with her partner, I was incredibly proud of her courage – and at the same time, I knew that the hardest part was just beginning.

Sarah has made a courageous decision: she is ending a relationship that has been marked by years of psychological and physical abuse. But the separation phase is the most dangerous time. I don't want to leave Sarah alone – but I can't manage it financially on my own. That's why I need your help.

Why does it cost so much to start over after experiencing domestic violence? Many people don't know that there are not enough places in women's shelters in Germany and that government assistance often takes months to come through. Sarah has not been able to find a place in a women's shelter for herself and her son in the local area. Victims usually have to finance the first steps themselves – precisely when they are at their most vulnerable. This is a gap in justice that we can close together.

By the end of December, Sarah needs:
Safe accommodation (deposit + first month's rent: €2,500) – so that she and her young son can finally sleep peacefully again
Legal protection (legal fees: €1,500) – for a restraining order and divorce
Psychological stabilisation (10 therapy sessions: €1,000) – until her health insurance covers the costs
Financial support for the first 3 months (€1,500) – until government assistance kicks in

I am standing by Sarah's side – emotionally, practically and with everything I can. But the financial burden is too great for one person alone.

That's exactly what we're here for: to stand up for each other when it matters.Your donation makes a difference: Not only are you giving Sarah a safe new start – you're showing me that I'm not alone in my desire to help my friend. And you're sending a message that, as a society, we don't abandon victims of domestic violence. Every euro brings Sarah closer to a life of safety and self-determination.

Imagine: In a few months, Sarah will be able to wake up in the morning without fear. She will be able to work again, meet friends, simply be herself. Together, we can make this possible – and I am infinitely grateful to each and every one of you who is involved.

Help me help Sarah – donate and share this campaign!

Step 4: Activate the right network

The first 5 donations are crucial – they give the campaign credibility and momentum. Here's how to do it:

Trust circle first: Inform family and closest friends in advance
Involve multipliers who can create reach via email distribution lists or secure chat groups: Women's advice centres, equal opportunities officers, local (queer) feminist initiatives
Consider timing: Campaigns around 25 November or 8 March often receive more attention
Post updates: Regular, hopeful news to all donors keeps the campaign alive and motivates them to ask more people to contribute. More tips on writing news here.

Be careful with social media: Think carefully about where you share. Personal messages and closed, trusted groups are often safer than public posts. You can find more tips on sharing the campaign in this blog article. Keep in mind, however, that in the context of domestic violence, additional safety considerations must be taken into account.

Concrete support on the ground

In addition to financial assistance, victims of violence often need practical support. Here are the most important points of contact:

Immediate help (24/7)

Helpline ‘Violence against women’: 116 016 (free, anonymous, in 18 languages, in sign language)
Police emergency number: 110 (in case of acute danger)

Counselling and protection

Women's shelters: Safe accommodation and counselling (referral via 116 016)
Women's advice centres: Free advice on site
Online advice: Anonymous and secure via www.hilfetelefon.de

Specific support

For trans women and inter and non-binary persons:*

Trans* women, especially trans* women of colour, experience violence at an above-average rate – often in combination with discrimination in the support system
The website frauenhaus-suche.de of the Central Information Office for Autonomous Women's Shelters offers the possibility to search for women's shelters that explicitly welcome gender diversity.
There are specialist counselling centres and women's shelters that also support trans, inter and non-binary people. However, according to the Women's Shelter Coordination, the support needs of trans*, inter and non-binary people affected by violence must be taken into account even more in the support services offered. There is only one shelter in Germany specifically for trans, inter and non-binary people – in Munich.

For people with disabilities:

People with disabilities experience violence two to three times more often than people without disabilities.
Important: You can also find accessible women's shelters and counselling centres at frauenhaus-suche.de.
Hilfetelefon also offers support in sign language and easy language.

For people without German language skills:

People without secure residence status and in dependent situations experience violence at an above-average rate.
The Hilfetelefon provides advice in 18 languages.
Many counselling centres work with interpreters. You can search for the language skills of the staff at frauenhaus-suche.de.

Strong together: your contribution counts

Domestic violence affects us all – directly or indirectly. The good news is that we can all be part of the solution. Whether you donate £5, share a campaign or offer your sofa to someone affected – every gesture of solidarity makes a difference.

Remember: For many, the path out of violence is a marathon, not a sprint. They need not just one-off help, but long-term support and understanding. Everyone has their own timeline. There is no such thing as ‘too late’ or ‘too slow’.

Let's work together to ensure that no one fails due to a lack of financial resources when they want to escape a violent situation.

Do you have the consent of the person affected by violence and want to take action now? Then start your solidarity donation campaign now

Create campaign

If you yourself are affected by violence: You are not alone. Help is available. The ‘Violence against Women’ helpline is available around the clock on 116 016 – free of charge, anonymous and in 18 languages, including sign language.

This article was written with a focus on empowering, discrimination-sensitive language. Feedback and additions are welcome.

FAQ: The most frequently asked questions about fundraising campaigns for domestic violence

Can I also collect anonymously for someone else?

Yes! At GoodCrowd.org, you can start a campaign without revealing the real name of the person affected. The only important thing is that the story is authentic and that you actually pass on the money. You can find more information here.

What if the perpetrator finds out about the campaign?

Safety first! Discuss the risk with a counselling centre beforehand. It is often safer to start the campaign only once the person affected is already safe.

How much money should the target be?

Be realistic: what does she need for the next 3-6 months? It is better to set an achievable target and increase it later than to set it too high and fail.
Typical costs after separation:

Flat: Deposit + first month's rent (approx. £2,500-£4,000)
Women's shelter: £25-£100 per day, for stays of several weeks to three months: £2,000-£9,000
Legal fees: With an average net monthly income of approx. £3,500, legal fees amount to around £2,005 and court costs to £590
Therapy: £80-120 per session (paid privately)

Sources: BIG Berlin – Berlin Initiative Against Violence Against Women, Divorce Lawyers Berlin

What if I don't have any money myself?

You can still help! Share the campaign, offer practical help (childcare, accompanying someone to appointments), or just be there and listen.

How can I tell if someone might be affected?

Social withdrawal from friends, constant control calls and controlling behaviour by the partner, sudden changes in behaviour, unexplained injuries that cannot be explained or do not add up, or if the person says ‘he has never hit me, but...’ – all of these can be warning signs.

Sources: Malteser, Women's Shelter Coordination

Does this also apply to queer relationships and non-heterosexual partnerships?

The fact is that domestic violence can occur in any relationship. The few studies available show that LGBTIQ people are affected by partner violence at least as often or even more often.

Sources: Toolbox Victim Protection, Bavaria Against Violence

Who pays for a women's shelter?

One in four people have to pay for their stay in a women's shelter themselves, especially students, trainees, EU citizens without social security benefits and people with their own income. From 2032, the Violence Assistance Act will give people across Germany a legal right to free protection.

Source: BIG Berlin – Berlin Initiative against Violence against Women

How can I help a woman in a violent situation?

Talk to the person in a calm situation, believe them, do not act over their head, refer them to sources of help such as the helpline (116 016) or counselling centres, and call the police (110) in cases of acute violence. Offer concrete support such as childcare or access to a telephone/internet.

Sources: Women's Shelter Coordination, re-empowerment.de

How much does a new start after domestic violence cost?

The costs are considerable: apartment deposit and first month's rent (€3,000-5,000), legal fees for divorce and protection from violence (several thousand euros), private therapy (€80-120 per session), as well as costs for a new start and security. In total, this can quickly add up to €10,000 or more.